Valen-Times

As a child, Valentine's day always meant that I would get one of those heart shaped boxes of chocolates.  My grandmother actually bought them for all of us.  I always looked forward to that stash of candy and the inevitable hunt through the box to discover the good ones.  We never seemed to get the kind that had a diagram on the inside lid telling you where various flavors were located so eating those chocolates was almost like a game.  You might get a caramel or maybe a butter cream but you might also get stuck with one of the jelly filled ones.  Does anyone like those?

Much like that guaranteed box of chocolates from grandma, grade school also meant the obligatory tiny little Valentine's cards from all of your classmates.  There was a list of kids sent home from school and everyone would get one but of course you had to pick just the right card from the variety box of "Jetsons" themed cards for each friend.  Too many hearts on this one, can't give that to a boy or he might actually think you like him.  Perfect, use this robot one.  I assume that only the girls approached it this way.  Probably most of the boys' cards were filled out by their moms. 

Tomorrow is Valentine's day and I don't expect there will be any heart shaped boxes of chocolate or cards.  I don't know for sure that I won't get anything but my boyfriend just isn't the kind of guy to get into these commercial sorts of holidays.  My ex-husband wasn't either.  It seems that every year when Valentine's day approaches I am always left with the same question of what to do for the person I am with.  If they do something for me and I am empty handed, then what?  This happened one year when I expected my husband at the time to ignore the holiday and was surprised to find a card, flowers and chocolates all waiting for me.  Good thing I always have enough staples in the cupboard to whip up a heart shaped chocolate chip cookie.  And for all he knows, that is what I intended to do all along. 

I spent all of my teen years and most of my twenties without any significant person in my life for Valentine's day, so I guess I have never had high expectations.  It is the kind of holiday that seems to be made up just to make some of us feel inadequate.  An event that becomes a quantitative test of love.  That box of chocolates becomes a judgement.  Am I only worth a one layer box of sweets?  A bouquet of mixed flowers, why not roses?  A dozen roses, why not two?  Where is my life sized teddy bear from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company, AS SEEN ON TV for just $99.99?