Ghosts of Diets Past

If you need some dieting advice, ask a fat girl.  They may not have figured out how to successfully manage their weight but I guarantee they have tried more diets than their slim counterparts.  They can probably even tell you which ones worked best in the short term.  It is mastering the long term that most people who diet have a hard time doing.  I speak from experience.

I have been a fat girl for most of my life.  I was chubby as a child and when a lot of the other kids had their growth spurts and became a little more long and lean, I did not.  As a teen, being anything other than average can be painful.  I was the girl in seventh grade with braces, glasses, acne and extra weight.  I never had the most trendy clothes and things like a weigh in during gym class were humiliating.

My mother took me to a nutritionist who taught me a system of tracking what I was eating and measuring my portions.  I think I lost ten pounds but at that age I resented having to put so much attention on everything I ate when the rest of the world seemed to be able to eat whatever they wanted.  I did a lot of closet eating back then.  I was determined not to be one of those yo-yo dieting girls, so instead of going on and off of diets, I just swore them off altogether.

I got teased in school.  With all the focus these days on bullying in schools, I can relate.  Fortunately, for me, it was a case of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  I would have liked to have had dates for school dances and all those normal teenage experiences but I like who I am today.  I credit myself with a great sense of humor and sense of resilience.  If I could go back and talk to my younger self, the only thing I would tell her is to love yourself no matter what.

I was in my late twenties when I went to culinary school.  While I was there, I found the motivation to eat better and do some daily exercise.  I continued this while I was on my internship in California.  It was actually pretty easy to eat healthy in California because there was so much fresh produce available.  Taking regular bike rides was easy there too since it was a rare day that it would rain and most of the roads were pretty flat.  I would tell you how much weight I lost, it is a pretty impressive number, but I gained it back after a year or two so it is not something I celebrate. 

I lost even more weight a little later in life when I was engaged.  I was determined not to have wedding photos that I hated and I got down to a size I was very proud of.  But I am not proud that I gained that weight back too.  And a few years later, when I started going through my divorce, I lost weight again.  Guess what?  Gained most of it back. 

It is no wonder that people give up trying.  (To be continued...)